Ce matin, tu vogues sur les jeux d’ombre et de lumière,
Tu voyages entre ciel et terre.
Tu nages dans les gouttes d’eau illuminées par les premiers rayons du soleil et tu inspires le chant des oiseaux qui s’éveillent.
Tu es ce contraste de couleurs dans le ciel, que d’est à l’ouest tu parcours, à mi-chemin entre la nuit et le jour.
Tu es la feuille qui danse avec le vent, tourbillonne en souriant, et en silence, une goutte d’eau scintillante tombe sur le sol, se multiplie délicatement.
Une brise fraiche passe et me caresse avec amour et, en cet instant, je sais que tu es aussi à l’aube d’un nouveau jour…
Héloïse
13 septembre 2010
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quel beau poème
Merci Marina 🙂 Un texte d’écriture libre de lundi matin après observation de la nature au lever, puis retravaillé en journée et dédié à ma grand-mère paternelle qui nous a quitté cette nuit là.
très beau poème en hommage à ta Bonne-Maman Héloïse, je suis certaine qu’il lui fait fort plaisir là où elle est
Merci 🙂 Et ces mots sont vrais pour chaque être physiquement parti, ils résonnent en moi tant pour Bonne Maman que Nona ou Nono …
No Words could say enough about This Piece
Thank you for Sharing it with me H
DarkJade-
Thank You for reading it and feeling its true Nature.
As a teen, my poetry was fueled by pain, sorrow, anger…
Today it’s mostly by Nature Herself. I *sometimes* relax outside to do « free writing », Nature is who we are….
I never had a lot of experience with « Anger », until I went through some Trauma back in 2003… After that, sometimes I’d just feel Angry for no reason… But that can happen from Trauma… But I wasn’t comfortable with it, so I researched « Anger » quite a lot, and found that « Anger » often has to do with « Need »… And if when you feel Anger you take a moment to « Figure out what it is you Need », such as a hug, or to stop working on a project, or whatever, that the « Anger » would quickly subside.
Losing someone, truth is, there are no words for it
But Yours are Beautiful
DarkJade-
Hello James,
Anger destroys you. I didn’t know it was anger because I was never angry at people, but I was at one particular person and I’d not admit that so it was just building up like a volcano inside of me.
You are right, because thinking of it now, I needed something then. Nice insight you gave me there 😉
Thank You!
You’re Welcome
Anger is the « Misunderstood » Step Child… Anger is as important as any other « Emotion »… But, like I say, it is Largely Misunderstood… And, due to it’s often « Loud » and Potentially « Violent » Nature, most people generally right it off as a Bad thing.
In Truth, Anger is a « Defense » Mechanism… It’s designed to Protect the Person.
But, like you say, if you « Hold » Anger in, knowingly, or unknowingly, in one way or another it is Liable to Make you Sick…
Be it an « Ulcer », « Blood Pressure » or God Forbid « Cancer »… One of the Major Contributing Factors to Cancer can be « Suppressed » Emotions… Especially « Anger »…
Non Expressed Emotion can become an « Emotional Block »… And Emotional Blocks can definitely Affect Our Health.
Truth be known, « Identifying » why we’re Angry is the First Step… Forgive, but Never Forget, is a fairly Good Philosophy… If someone Hurts you in the Past, it’s Good to « Forgive » them Internally… And when I say « Forgive Them », I don’t mean Invite them to Christmas Dinner, Lol… I don’t even mean that they need to know that you have Forgiven them… I mean « Don’t Hold on to the Emotions » associated them as much as possible.
And Never, Ever Forget what they did, because It helps you to keep your eyes open so that that kind of thing, or person, isn’t in your life again.
The Anger you can let go of… It might take Work, but to a degree, it can be done… But learn from the Experience, and let it go to a degree…
Lol, Nuff Said
DarkJade-
Oh I just noticed that I’ve replied below!
I see you have read those psychology books you once mentioned and probably you talk from experience too 😉
I’m a big believer of releasing emotions which no longer serve you, when one feels angry/sad/scared/happy/… one should not repress the emotion, it’s like putting a top on boiling water… the more we allow ourself to feel it, the more we’re to observe it and then release it : )
Otherwise, indeed, it’s bound to create psychosomatic diseases… most people don’t like to hear that, especially when they are sick but it is what it is!
Totally there with your definition of Forgiveness.
This has been a big one for me, but it brings so much freedom : ) if we would love unconditional, the concept of forgiveness would be irrelevant, we would remember (not forget) but we would not bear the weight of destructive emotions. I know what you gonna say … LOL
In another conversation @DarkXperience, you said « As far as « Unconditional Love », I find that really mostly Applies towards Family Members, or Long time Friendships yah know… I feel in a Romantic Relationship, « Unconditional Love » can often lead people to staying in « Unhealthy » relationships for longer than they should… »
When I say « unconditional love », it includes not only others but myself, so it would not be possible to stay in an unhealthy relationship, otherwise it would be self-destructive (lack of love for oneself -which is mostly the case then) but what it means (according my pov) is that Love doesn’t require « condition ». Just as I do not need x to be brutal in order to « hate » him/her, I do not need x to be gentle in order to « love » him/her. I feel as if Love is just Love, just it is To Be. it is.
Meaning I can step away from let’s say an unhealthy relationship or an unpleasant job … without resentment, without the need of feeling sad or mad or guilty or … simply out of love for myself and my environment.
Then, it would not even require forgiveness (neither to me nor the other) because there would be nothing to forgive.
Well this is « my ideal » of unconditional love, the way I see it : )
Not that I’m actually there lol, but I’ve done the forgiveness thing, while not forgetting, but my perception on what I remember does not feel as strong as it was before. And I’m not even talking romantic relationship here, I’m talking family. It’s like « it does not matter now, you are who you are and I’m who I’m, and I chose to accept that »
And I’m probably gonna sound idealist or hippie here but with all the terrible things we are doing to Nature (meaning also ourself) She still provides us with Air so we can breathe, and Water so we can live, and The Sun to fuel us and more than everything with a Home called Earth… if that isn’t Unconditional Love, then what … 😉
So much to learn from Her.
Today is a good day to be Happy : )
Héloïse
I think I understand what you mean… You mean a World Without Guilt… I believe? Meaning, you can leave an unhealthy relationship without feeling guilty, out of love for yourself.
If you include love for yourself into the formula, then you’re not trapped in a bad relationship because that love will take you out of it… It’s true, what I meant was when unconditional love means you don’t hold anything against someone, so you just stay no matter how they treat you. But loving yourself, should remove you from the situation in what you say.
It’s true, the people that call it unconditional love and that’s why they stay no matter what, don’t unconditionally love their self, or they would leave. Low self esteem big time.
I’m glad that you’ve been able to let go of things that have hurt you in the past… I wish you all the joy that life has to offer you in the future, and in every moment, of every day.
« Intention » is half the battle, and one that is very clear when it comes to you.
Not to get all psycho analytical, but perhaps « Freedom » is a major factor for you, because you have experienced what it is « Not to be Free »?
And perhaps « Truth/Honesty » is a big thing to me, because I have been lied to…
But on the flip side, Freedom might also be Important or an emphasis for you, because you have the « Spirit of an Eagle »… Though I might be saying that, because to me, and Americans, Eagles our Symbolically a Sign of Freedom… But to me, it is the perfect symbol… If you’ve ever seen one floating above the clouds, than you know what I mean
And for me, I am Very Honest, and I’ve noticed that when people are around me, even people who might often lie, they tend to be More Honest… And tend to be able to Be Their Self around me… In that way I’ve always felt like a « Mirror »… Perhaps My deep commitment to Honesty, strikes a chord within them… And Frees them to be Honest… Who knows, Lol
I do have to say, My Mom, and Her Boyfriend too actually, are the Two Most Honest People I have ever Encountered… And thus may have also played a part in who I am, and how I am about The Truth/Being Honest.
Or maybe it’s just who I am… And who you are.
I suspect you and I are on the Same Path in Life, Meaning the Path of « Loving/Appreciating Life to the Fullest », and Loving, and Allowing Ourselves to be Loved.
Life is Good
Carpe’ Diem right
DarkJade-
Hey James,
I had not replied yet…
Yes, if Love is unconditional, there would not be any guilt, guilt is such a destructive emotion. Something I had to work very hard on.
Thank You : ) I was actually re-reading some of my old poems to see if I should publish some or not, in order to show the immense difference in mindset and vision of the world between my teen age and today (I wrote in my book that I started writing to release destructive emotions and that I had planned on publishing my texts, it was even totally written and titled – poèmes & réflexions dans la souffrance – but that it’d not have been a beautiful gift to the world) And they are pretty beautiful texts, very deep BUT oh so dark and full of pain, I mean anyone who read them would feel the raw pain I think, or maybe i think that because I’m such an empathic person. Well I don’t know… I thought maybe the people who went through the pain could see it is really possible to let go of it, but I don’t want to make others even more depress…
Anyway, when you say « I’m glad that you’ve been able to let go of things that have hurt you in the past… I wish you all the joy that life has to offer you in the future, and in every moment, of every day. » you’ve no idea and neither did I how much I do too, I’m so glad I did let go and I’m so blessed to have find peace with myself and therefore joy.
Yes, intention : ) Such a beautiful and meaningful word!
« Freedom »
I guess, wait no, yes it is. Actually I just wrote in my book « …I had the feeling that I was prisoner of a pain without limit… » Mentally I wasn’t free, I did not want to live (at least I thought so, lol) and physically, my mom & I were stuck in a situation that took years to solve.
And also Freedom has always been part of my life. My parents have both open mind, I grew up in a big house in a small village, my mom stopped working to take care of me, my dad worked with his mother creating jewels and painting. We would do big walks, go to the museum, library, out to eat…They treated me almost like an adult, I think I got 1 time babysit otherwise I could accompany them everywhere. So there was place for me to discover and experience the « world », my creativity was always encouraged…
I like the idea of an eagle : ) Even though I’m a Winter child, from the Earth, I’m much closer to the Air Element. I feel like I came into this world a Free Being or One here to Remember what Being Free means.
Yeah, funny you mention that, I feel that too, it’s coming from your own honesty, it makes sense! I’m not big on sharing, only with people I feel I can be me. I don’t pretend with others, I don’t lie, but I don’t mind telling them what they want to hear just to be left alone.
I can see why Truth or Honesty would be essential for you then!
And these are great values, I think we should thrive for them.
Freedom & Truth are much alike, one can’t be without the other.
We are who we are but our environment has influence on us, we can take what we like and value from the one we love.
Yes, and what an Amazing Path we are on !
And, James, I truly wish you the most Truthful Life Experience!!!
Carpe Diem, yes…
Héloïse
Sorry for the delay, didn’t get this reply
Yes, you are definitely an Eagle I think
I too am a Winter Child, though I’m not exactly sure where that term comes from, I definitely feel that I am… I think I have a « Winter » Soul, if that makes any since… I don’t mind the cold, I love the rain, and fire in the fireplace… And dark colors, dark blues, and blacks, and dark purples… And maroons.
That may have been why I named My Poetry Book, « Winter, Lust, And Wonder »… That and the fact that I Wrote it during the Winter
I do think you and I are on the same path, and it is a good one
It’s nice that we’re both close to our Parents… I am especially with My Mom… I love my dad, but don’t see him much
xo
James-
The Eagle’s back 😉
I just thought « Winter Child » sounded nice 🙂
Also, my mom always says I was born with the first snow flakes of the year. It was a hard Winter, my dad had to ski to reach the house where my mom & I were staying because no car could drive and the water was frozen at our house.
Yeah, it’s a poetry book, one’d think to read sitting by a fireplace with a hot tea or cocoa 🙂
Well, I’m not that close to my dad since he left when I was 12 and never look back for many years, leaving us with nothing, but one day he was there and I just found it in my heart to forgive him (and myself for hating him), so now we see each other about 2-3 times by year, but that’s enough for me.
I’m naturally much closer to my mom, although it’s been hard, living together, 2 persons with deep suffering under the same roof and no third-party to blame or direct your anger …well it doesn’t go well Lol. But now that we live apart, I can see how important she is to me and we can say we love each other 🙂
It’d make sense you’re closer to yours too, living so long with her and no dad.
Thanks for the talk Friend 🙂
Xo
Yeah, I didn’t move out of my Mom’s until like 21, because I got along with her… Then I was gone until I was like 30, where I moved back in for a few months… As a take off point to move to Oregon to be near my Bro, and Start Pursuing Film Making…
Then 9 Months later moved in for 4 or 5 months… Then out for 2 years… Then in for like 4 months… Then out for 4 months… Then out for 2 months, Lol
Then I stayed with her and her boyfriend for a while, because of some medical issues… Like 5 1/2 years actually, that’s when I started Screenplay Writing, and working for her Boyfriend as an Admin Asst./Marketing Consultant… And just getting over some trauma that I went through in 2003… Which was slow… But My mom and her and her Boyfriend are two of my Closest friends, so it was ok… I just did my own thing.
Then I moved out for a year and a half with my last girlfriend, then we broke up last year, and I’ve been staying here…
At this point I’m a full time Writer, and work with him when he gets work, which hasn’t been happening much lately. The next year or two will be very telling, whether they will be able to keep this house or not…
You are the Eagle, I am a Tiger myself, they are my Favorite Animal
As far as My Dad, I love him, he doesn’t live that far away, but he’s never really taken much time to know me… I don’t think he has the ability to… His childhood was a bit tough, so most of his time has always been focused on himself… Which is fine… One parent was enough, and I’ve been around my Mom’s Boyfriend since I was like 10, so I call him Dad playfully.
I was never bothered that my Dad left, but all three of my Siblings were… I didn’t think Mom and Dad were a good match, so I was glad he left, Lol
I think it’s harder on a girl when the Dad leaves though… Harder for the Boy if their Mom isn’t around…
My Dad’s Mom took three of his siblings, and left my Dad with his Dad… Which was hard on my Dad I think. His oldest Brother had already left.
He’s a good guy, but a bit too macho for me… But I love him.
xo
DJ-
A lot of moving!
Well, it’s nice to go and experience life on our own. If I’d have to « regret » one thing (which I don’t of course) it’d be the fact that I didn’t did much on my own. I always got involved in long-term relationships, but I learned plenty from each of them so it’s all good 🙂
I really do wish your family the best with the house and your Mom’s boyfriend’s business!
I hear in The States, the crisis has done a lot of damages, many people lost their homes. But I also know that there’s always a way, a solution if you’re able to see it : ) And if it doesn’t turn out the way you like, you might be surprised by what something new can bring. Home is where you FEEL home.
This said, I’m sure you can find a way. If it’s just a question of money, well money is matter, an object, it’s not growing on trees but it sure comes when we know how to attract it, in some way we « grow » money 😉
I read an amazing book about a Puma long ago, love those felines!
It’s great that you never felt that way towards your dad.
You know, I never recognize how angry I was before I went to therapy. I’d always find an excuse for him, his childhood,- or else. But there’s none when it comes to abandoning your own child. It’s a choice. There’s a difference between 2 parents splitting but staying friendly and providing for the kids, & one saying he found another family and doesn’t want to provide for you, leaving you with nothing. Leaving your partner is one thing and totally okay if it’s necessary for your own happiness, but you’re responsible for the one you bring into this world 😉 Anyway, it made me realize our responsibilities as adults. A great life lesson! I’m very happy it did happen, and so does my mom actually : ) And if I would not have been mad, I’d not have learn about forgiveness and then about unconditional love 🙂
Love is powerful 🙂
XO
Yeah, My Dad left, but he always paid child support and Alimony… And he’d come see us every once in a while an take us to dinner… And then he remarried and moved to Arizona, but he’d have us out for like a month each summer… And a week around Christmas
He also Adopted My Mom’s original daughter, who had a different dad… And you’d never know my dad wasn’t hers… He basically is, and always has been… He’s good that way… He also adopted my Step brother from his new marriage…
But we were always in his life, just not tons… He invited my brother to live with him in our teens… I went there when I was 15-16, but moved back to Cali cuz I missed My Mom and Brother… And Mom’s Boyfriend… He was bummed that I left, but I was realllly close to My Mom, Brother and Mom’s Boyfriend.
My Brother also moved there when he was like 17, but he got into trouble out there, Lol… And moved back like 3 or 4 months later.
So yeah, the whole leaving, starting a new family, and acting like your old one didn’t exist is very hurtful, and must have really crushed you… I can’t imagine.
I’m glad you worked on it, and have moved on from it as much as you can… Life has it’s good and bad… And you’re right, Love is Powerful…
Ah yeah, you’re right, if we end up having to move, I’m sure there will be some good to it… I have to admit, I’ve just been kind of upset lately because of Mom and Warren’s age… I mean, I know they may be around for a while more… But I’m so close to them, I just can’t imagine a world without them… And don’t want to.
I know it’s the « Circle of Life » so to speak… But I Love them, and Like them 🙁
Stupid Mortality, Hee Hee
xo
DJ-
Oh, and your Poems and Texts sound Amazing
James-
thanks!
Btw, I hope everything is going alright with your Mother and her boyfriend, with the house, …
Regarding the mortality thing, in itself Life never ends, it just take another form and we don’t « see » each other as we did before but the end of something = the begin of another thing : ) Xo
I’m ok
Kind of frustrated with my mom
But it’s her house so I have to constantly remind myself to back off
Thanx for asking
xo
James-
Hey James,
I’m sorry to hear that. Well, her roof, her rules, right 😉
As long as you love each other…
Xo
Heloise
Ah yeah, I just wish she’d get this certain kind of loan… I’m afraid she might lose her house if she doesn’t… But she’s holding onto the hope that they’ll figure out a different way to keep the house… We shall see
xo
James-
Oh OK. I « understand » now. Sometimes they don’t see what we see. My Mom tends to see things in such a optimistic way, and always be helpful, that she thinks people will act the same way; but when institutions are concerned, bureaucracy wins… But I should not say that! I’m a big believer myself in the prosperity laws and beliefs = powerful thing. If she TRULY believe she’ll keep the house, she will. Of course there’s a difference between hope or wishful thinking & believe…
Good Luck!!!
Yeah, it’s tricky with my mom
Hopefully she’ll figure something out in the nick of time, Lol
Would be nice
DJ-
Otherwise you’ll do it by yourself & she’ll be glad you did 🙂
Yeah, I’ m thinken of trying to get an agent to try to represent the screenplay I wrote back in 2002-2005 again… I sent out some what are called ‘ quarry letters to agents, telling them about my script, and trying to get them to read it back in like 2006, to no avail… But I didn’t send that many… If I could sell that, that would help… We shall see
xo
DJ-
Nice idea! You lose nothing at trying but you might get a lot out of it, if not the contacts you might create 🙂 Good Luck James! xoxo, H
Thanx H-
xo
DJ-